you moved through the city

like water: seeing nothing

your hands shook

the numbers were pressed

against your palm

you were flying above

lake michigan, gold coast

ascending

you could feel the rareified air

entering your lungs

you can’t look down now, can’t go back

you’re sure all those weak

organs

fell off somewhere

in transit

you’re sure there is

some part of you out there

dying

on the ice

 

rulers of constantinople

gather around

you know all their tricks

you’ve slept in their beds

they think you haven’t

pulled yourself apart

piece by angry piece

to be near them

you’ve rearranged yourself again

and again and again

they knew it would be a bloodbath

when they saw you come in

you worked harder and

created more from nothing

than all those dot com

barons with their

outdated plans

they know you are

unstoppable

at least until

the next collapse

 

you move through the numbers

like you are falling apart

you have crushed your past

down to ashes

that collect between the fine print

between the meetings

and deals and collect

in your throat when you sleep

and in your nightmares

and in the voices you think you hear

and in the money

every cent contains

some small terror

all of your secrets

follow you like a ghost

 

surprise predator

you reflect that you have

always recognized

your own kind

all those hidden monsters

grinning in the sun

you will all be smiling

in the dark

and tearing each other

in half

 

istanbul, illinois

you always knew

this was where

it would start

when the switch in

your soul

was triggered

all the lights

turned on

 

—

 

For dverse poets Open Link Night – Week 80. Read more here.